He's My Brother
by Dixie Dewdrop's Seven Brides
Summary: Adam and Brian McFadden acknowledge the value and power inherent within the family's fraternal bonds.
1. Seemed Like a Good Idea

Seemed Like a Good Idea

Back at that particular moment, the idea of skipping school and hitting the road for some fun and subterfuge appealed to Brian McFadden on several levels.

First, Christmas break for the teenager had long passed and Spring break, though eagerly anticipated, felt impossibly far away. Brian had been invited to join his friend Derek Carruth in Sacramento for the entire week of spring break, and after speaking with Derek's dad, his brother/ guardian Adam had already agreed to the plan. Derek's folks had divorced years earlier and Mr. Carruth moved to the Capital. Every other vacation Derek would join his father there in Sacramento and he had regaled Brian with the multitude of activities available for teens within the city. Brian had been to Sacramento before, of course, but had never stayed the amount of time necessary to genuinely experience it.

But Spring break wouldn't hit the calendar for two more weeks.

So when the group that formed the nucleus of Brian's clique first began entertaining ideas of skipping school, the tenth grader masterminded most of the logistics.

That first day Brian and his girlfriend Karly Reid, along with his friend Bransen Elliott, Bransen's girlfriend Ila, Derek, and Derek's girlfriend Sophie managed to slide right out of school after homeroom ended. They spent the morning and early afternoon staked out at an abandoned store about twenty miles from Murphys before returning to school in time to make their last period study hall.

That way potential witnesses would confirm seeing all of them at the beginning of the school day as well as the end if the need arose.

Thrilled with the success of the first day, the teens decided to aim higher the next day. So Bransen steered his car to Lockeford, about an hour away, as his passengers debated whether to hang out around town or head for the river.

The heady feeling of outwitting the high school and slipping past adult supervision invigorated the six.

The sun shone so brightly and the weather felt so deliciously warm that the kids opted for the river. They pooled allowances and pocket money and Bransen pulled into the parking lot of a convenience store on the outskirts of Lockeford. There the teens hurriedly spilled from the car to stock up on Cokes and snacks and to use the store's restroom.

It barely took five minutes.

All six burst out of the doorway laughing and racing to see who would make it to the car first. Brian and Karly clasped hands and swung their arms, jumped off the curb, and sideswiped Derek as they fell against the car door.

At that point a disturbingly familiar voice called an exuberant greeting. "Well, my goodness! The district cancelled school today and I failed to realize it. I could have saved myself giving up a sick day."

Brian froze in place and felt Karly yank her hand from his. He glanced across the car's roof and saw looks of horror reflected on the faces of Bransen and Derek. The three boys had plenty of familiarity with that voice since it belonged to none other than their football coach, Coach Stephen.

Though caught off guard, the girls recovered some equilibrium and valiantly attempted to brazen out the encounter. Ila clapped her hands together and plastered on an ingratiating smile. "Coach, wonderful to see you here! What in the world brings you into our universe?"

Coach Stephen bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling himself and responded with a serious expression on his face. "My folks live in Lockeford and I took the day off from school to carry my dad to a cardiologist appointment. Just imagine finding all of you here." He jangled his keys and feigned surprise. "On a school day. Or rather, during the school day."

Brian's stomach clenched and he pretended interest with the car tire nearest him.

Derek and Bransen followed suit.

Very deliberately Sophie slid the sack of goodies they'd bought from the store in back of her. She hoped Coach Stephen would miss the fact that they had plotted quite a picnic.

Several agonizing moments passed before Ila courageously commandeered the lead. "Well, lovely to see you Coach but we had really better hurry along now."

Karly and Ila snapped open car doors and slid across the upholstered seats. Sophie covertly motioned the boys to follow.

Catching the cue, Bransen fumbled his keys from his pocket.

Derek sputtered, "Yeah, we do need to go." He nodded at Brian and Bransen. "Don't we, Boys?"

They agreed that they did.

"Wait," Coach ordered, moving his arm to consult his wristwatch. "What time is it?"

"Uhm, somewhere around ten," Derek replied.

"Great news. I'll call the school and alert them that you should be back in the parking lot by quarter after eleven or so. Sound helpful to you?"

Brian clenched his jaw. "Yes sir, Coach."

"Yes sir, very helpful," Derek nodded.

"Drive safely, Bransen," Coach Stephen added.

Bransen managed a strained smile. "Will do, Coach."

The teens travelled the first half of the return trip in utter silence with the exception of soft, intermittent weeping from Sophie. As the distance to the high school closed to the halfway point, though, the six miscreants began to panic.

"You and your stupid ideas, Derek," Bransen accused. "Look at what you've done!"

Derek contradicted, "Don't you dare blame me! Whose car is this? Not mine!"

Ila's voice shook. "Focus on the future instead of ripping each other to shreds at the moment. What's gonna happen when we get to school?"

"Maybe nothing," Karly suggested hopefully. "Let's think on the positive side and maybe Coach Stephen just called our bluffs and …"

Brian's rested his suddenly throbbing head against the upholstered seat back and interrupted with a moan, "Busted, Karly. Forget it. Coach Stephen toyed with us like we were in a cat and mouse game. Not only will the principal rip us to shreds, but Coach…." He leaned forward and pointed at Bransen and Derek. "Coach will take it out on our hides. Slowly. So no, I know better than to think positively. My vote goes with doom and gloom."

With that observation, Brian closed his eyes and leaned back again, then slowly rolled his head from side to side.

Ila ran a hand nervously through her hair. "But football season finished months ago, so really Coach Stephen has no clout at this point. Karly's right. Let's hang on to positive speculation."

Bransen nearly swerved off the road as he responded, "Do you live under a rock?"

"Coach will skin us alive," Derek stressed. "That sweet façade back there was a cruel joke. He's spitting mad!"

Brian stopped moving his head side to side to add, "Oh yeah. This man owns us body and soul for as long as we commit to playing football and the three of us have zilch plans to quit. Zilch, zilch, zilch. We had hoped to continue on the team for junior and senior years."

Ila frowned. "Oh."

"Ok, can we at least figure out our story?" Karly asked hopefully.

"What story? We skipped school today. Coach caught us. The faculty will hear that, remember yesterday, put two and two together, and discover we skipped two days- not one." Brian summarized. "That's our story."

Karly pursed her lips. "No doubt the faculty will extrapolate all right and…."

"Ex what?" Ila demanded.

"Extrapolate," Karly defined, "You know, infer or derive."

"Why do you even know that?" Derek probed.

Karly defended herself. "SATs. It's never too early to build a vocabulary base. Remember the counselor said the higher our SAT scores the greater our chances of colleges accepting us?"

Brian laughed grimly. "We might not make it out of high school at this point. I'd say it's probably safe to table thoughts of college at the moment."

Bransen whistled. "Time's up, folks. School's right there," he pulled into the parking lot and slid the car into an available space. "And the gallows awaits us right inside those doors."

"That's not funny," Ila whispered.

Ila's comment proved prophetic. Their principal considered hustling two days off of school practically a personal slap in his face. Thus, he threw the proverbial book at all six teens. After a scathing lecture concerning taking their educations for granted, their dishonesty, and their lack of leadership potential he assigned all of them to two agonizing weeks of In-School Suspension, otherwise known as ISS.

The principal sent for the ISS teacher to join them in the office.

An ISS tenure meant that the teens would spend every period of every day in silence confined to the ISS classroom while they completed assignments sent from their teachers. At lunch they would march to the cafeteria, pick up their lunch trays, march back to the ISS classroom, and eat the meal in silence. Even one talking infraction would lead to an additional day tacked on to the end of the suspension.

The high school's ISS supervisor ruled the ISS room with a firm hand and took great delight in relaying the terms of the punishment as they related to the ISS domain.

Brian also proved prophetic. Coach Stephen sent Derek, Bransen, and Brian a message that at the end of all ten of their ISS days he expected them at the school's track running laps until time for buses.

The children left the office in a huddled group of despair clutching discipline referrals designated for parental signatures in their hands.

"My car will be gone," Bransen moaned, folding his paper. "That's the first thing my folks will snatch."

Ila's lashes dripped tears and commiserated, "No television, no…."

"Phone," Derek interrupted, clenching his jaw.

Sophie sniffed. "An early bedtime."

"Plus anything else to drive home the misery," Karly concluded, slipping her paper into her pocketbook. She slid against Brian. "What are you thinking, Honey?"

Brian smiled ruefully. "I'm thinking that when Adam sees this he'll go ballistic. Nothing sends him over the edge faster than a bad school report. I'm trying to figure out a way to save myself and spin it in such a way that I can bamboozle him."

Brian meant what he said.

On the bus ride home Brian ignored his usual bus buddies and threw himself into a seat by himself to think. He leaned against the window and pulled out the discipline documentation from his bookbag. As he read through the summary of infractions he groaned out loud.

He knew his brother well. Adam's immediate explosive reaction would precede a lecture which would precede an unwelcome punishment Adam tailored to fit the crime.

Brian squirmed in his seat. Really, he already had an absolutely horrible two weeks of school coming to him. Why did he have to get disciplined again at home? That made no sense.

Brian felt sorry for himself.

This double jeopardy business was so unfair. It had always been unfair, all of his school life.

Brian admitted to himself that in all honesty, the origins didn't stem from Adam. His parents had lectured again and again that causing trouble at school meant automatic trouble at home as a consequence.

His stop appeared and Brian hastily stuffed the papers out of sight in the furthest depths of his bookbag, still nursing his feelings of being victimized.

Thus, Brian failed to apprise Adam of the papers as soon as he got home. He skipped the opportunity to come clean at supper. Nor did he simply yank out the documents and present them during the family's homework time.

Instead, he seethed with indignation as he conjugated verbs and solved four step equations.

He fumed as Adam wrote checks for their school lunches while supervising their schoolwork.

Brian snapped at Evan and reacted nastily to any questions for academic help from Crane and Daniel.

Adam corrected him twice concerning his attitude but the third time Brian's behavior came to his attention his raised his eyebrows and ordered firmly. "The second you finish that last problem head upstairs to your room."

Brian accepted the banishment to his room with a roll of his eyes. "Gladly. I'm wasting time as it is. I've been finished a long time but have to wait on you to simply write a check so that I can have something to eat at school this month!"

Crane and Daniel swiveled in their seats. Their eyes widened in shock with the blatant disrespect.

Adam pushed Brian's check across the table and kept his voice controlled, though his jaw clenched. "Here you go, Brian, all the lunch money you will need. Now let me modify sending you to your room for your behavior. Instead, just go ahead and take your shower and head to bed. I'll check on you in a bit."

Brian had not counted on finishing his miserable day with an early bedtime. He opened his mouth to respond but glancing at Adam's expression, wisely decided against it.

The younger boys still regarded him in horrified disbelief and confusion. How could Brian get himself sent to bed earlier than the time when they went to bed? He was a teenager!

Brian gathered his books and the check and felt a twinge of remorse. "Night then, everyone, and Adam I apologize for backtalking."

He located his bookbag by the front door and as he packed his materials back into its cavernous space a cunning idea popped into his head. He glanced at the check, then dug down and grabbed hold of his ISS papers. Brian stealthily leaned back to check if anyone could see him from the kitchen.

No, in fact they had all returned to their activities.

No one watched him.

Brian yanked the papers to him, snatched the check, and slipped to the desk to grab a notepad and pen before jogging upstairs. Then he thrust everything under his pillow for safekeeping and hurried to bathe.


	2. Believing in Brotherhood

Believing in Brotherhood

Adam thoughtfully turned his focus back to Daniel's spelling words once he heard his brother's footsteps echo as he climbed the stairs.

His vision of the evening had certainly not included punishing his sixteen year old brother, but what choice had Brian left him this evening?

Adam rubbed his temples and mulled over the teen's conduct. Brian's emotions generally hovered close to the surface so it usually didn't take much skill to figure out what bothered him.

But tonight differed from other times, and Adam felt his concern escalate.

He just couldn't put his finger on any underlying issue.

Daniel spelled his last spelling term correctly and Adam slid the textbook back to him. "Fantastic job, Ace."

Using his forefinger Crane traced a science term. "Adam, what does c-r-u-s-t-a…."

"Crustacean," Adam finished for him. "Crust-a-shun," he repeated. "It has to do with shellfish like crabs or lobsters."

"Crust-a-shun," Crane repeated.

Adam felt a stab of pain. Their mother had loved shellfish, and the few times the family had extra money to venture away from Murphys and enjoy a meal at a nice restaurant their daddy would make sure the restaurant specialized in seafood.

He exhaled slowly at the bittersweet reminder. One day those memories of seafood restaurants wouldn't hurt.

Not today, though. Today the loss remained too raw.

How would his parents have reacted had they been privy to the earlier scene with Brian?

Adam stood and stretched before helping himself to a cup of coffee. He wandered into the living room and crossed to the stairs, then leaned upon the bannister railing to examine the framed photos lining the steps.

His mother had adored those snapshots of her seven boys because she had personally posed and fashioned them.

Once the Hollies, a popular rock group, recorded _He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother,_ she loved the song so much and sang it around the house so often that she received the record for her birthday. Adam reminded himself that she never lost her sense of wonder at the beauty of the message, the utter acceptance expressed by a child that his brother was not a burden to him.

Adam bit the side of his lip as he studied the photos. The first featured him as a two year old perched on his knees on his parents' bed while peeping into the bassinet where a newborn Brian lay. Adam clutched a stuffed yellow duck and their mother had dressed the baby in a little outfit with yellow ducks along the hem of the shirt. Adam didn't recall the circumstances, but his mother told him later that it had taken some time for him to adjust to sharing the limelight. He had, after all, ruled uncontested as the only child for two years.

Once Brian began to sit up Adam warmed to him and as Brian grew, some of the baby's cutest moments developed as he attempted to copy his big brother.

"Adam, remember he's your brother," his mother would remind him, sometimes gently, and sometimes as a reprimand. She rarely spanked, but Adam could distinctly recall her hand connecting with his bare bottom the day he deliberately locked Brian, a terrified three year old, inside their storage shed. In between the smacks and his sobs she reiterated her expectation that he never, ever, ever ignore or dismiss the fact that Brian was his brother and belonged to him!

Adam rubbed his chin. As an adult he now realized she must have been out of her mind with terror trying to find Brian, since Adam fibbed and claimed not to know his brother's whereabouts for nearly half an hour.

Adam felt his chest compress. He glanced back into the kitchen. If one of the boys terrified him like that he would react in the exact way.

The next photograph featured five year old Brian with a fat and toothless Crane perched on his shoulders. Brian grinned gleefully and held both of the baby's tiny hands firmly in his own small ones. Crane's dimpled legs clamped against Brian's chest and Brian's head tilted as he peeped up at his baby brother.

Adam crossed his arms on his chest and marveled at the maturation process. Their Crane had certainly changed from his days as a cute, chubby baby. Of all of the boys, he was now the leanest and lankiest McFadden.

The third framed photo showed a willowy Crane at four walking directly behind a diapered six month old Daniel. Crane held both of Daniel's hands as the baby placed one fat foot in front of the other. Obviously proud of his little brother, Crane's sweet smile matched Daniel's huge, delighted grin.

Adam smiled to himself recalling the context of the photo. He remembered how excited little Crane had been thinking Daniel would actually walk on his own that particular day. His father had tousled Crane's hair and assured him that the baby would take some real steps and race off in just a couple of months, but not right then.

Next Daniel and Evan posed together in the tub, mounds of soft bubbles and an assortment of bath toys between them. Evan's nearly bald head lay covered underneath a washcloth as his older brother worked hard at shampooing his bits of fuzzy blond hair. Despite the rough treatment, nine month old Evan grinned, showing off three bottom teeth. Not yet two, Daniel's rosy cheeks and long lashes already caused strangers to marvel at his good looks.

The adjacent photo in the exhibit had been set outdoors. Evan, close to two, perched a step above Ford, who had just celebrated his first birthday. Evan's hair had emerged within the last couple of months, a light blond with a bit of curl to it, soft curls evident against the collar of his red shirt. Evan firmly and protectively wrapped his small arms against his brother's chest, pinning Ford against the back of the step. Little Ford remained as bald as Evan had once been, but a dusting of white blond fuzz had begun to sprout. Both boys wore overalls, though Evan's featured fire trucks and Ford's featured puppies. Ford wore a little Stetson hat someone had gifted him when he was born, and the baby had spread his arms out with delight in the image, a look of delighted wonder animating his face.

Adam licked his lips and grinned. He remembered exactly what had Ford so enamored because he had watched as his dad snapped that particular picture. Their mother stood just in front of the boys, blowing mounds and mounds of fat, jiggly soap bubbles into the air as the boys posed. Adam recalled Daniel was just out of range of the shot, running around their mother to capture several of the bubbles.

The final framed picture featured Guthrie at six weeks, sound asleep with one hand resting against the side of his little rosebud mouth. Ford, nearly four, perched ramrod straight in the upstairs rocking chair, his back against the side arm and back frame of the chair. Guthrie lay across his lap and legs, and the preschooler had shoved both of his hands underneath Guthrie to hold him securely. Ford stared down at the baby with an expression of both wonder and awe.

Adam had been privy to that particular backstory as well. When their mother had aimed the camera for the shot Ford had turned to her and asked, "Do I need to take care of this baby for all time, Mama, or just for right this minute?" His sweet innocence had caused her to burst into tears, and she had rushed to the chair and gathered Ford in her arms to tell him over and over how lucky she felt to have him. Finally she posed the two youngest McFaddens again and snapped the shot.

Adam stepped back and inspected the group of pictures collectively. His mother had loved her contrived _He's My Brother_ picture theme and his daddy had arranged the pictures specifically per her request.

Adam's breath caught suddenly and he felt that now all too familiar, soul wrenching longing for his parents sweep over him.

He crossed his arms across his chest and admired the pictures once more before climbing the stairs to go deal with Brian.

Brian lay sprawled across his bed.

Adam rapped on the door frame, then crossed and sat down on the edge of the mattress. He regarded Brian in genuine bewilderment. "What happened today?"

Brian sighed deeply, afraid his guilt would visibly surface somehow and give him away. "Adam, I apologized to you already."

"I'm not talking about smart mouthed responses with me," Adam insisted. "I punished you for that. I meant what happened at school today that catapulted you into such a foul mood?"

Brian mumbled, "Nothing."

"Nothing? I find that difficult to believe."

"Ok, don't believe it but that's the truth." Brian responded dismissively and turned onto his side.

"Brian, I don't think you're telling me the truth." Adam placed a hand on Brian's cheek and searched for something to say. "You know that I will listen if you're upset."

"I know." Brian refused to elaborate.

It would be futile to belabor the subject if Brian refused to cooperate. Adam stood. "If you change your mind, I'm here. Good night, Brian."

Once Adam left the room Brian flipped over onto his back and strained to listen. Finally he heard Adam's footsteps retreating down the stairs. He quickly engaged the lamp by his bed and consulted the alarm clock on the dresser. None of the other boys should head upstairs for at least twenty minutes.

Brian grabbed the sketchbook and Adam's check and started working on his ticket to escape further punishment.

His first attempt at simply placing the check under the ISS papers and copying the signature failed miserably. The thickness of the sketch paper nixed that ploy.

But the task consumed him.

Brian bit down on the cap of the pen and reminded himself of the importance of his work. He smoothed the check and focused upon just the first name, just the _Adam_ of the signature, and he began practicing.

Eleven attempts later he congratulated himself. The first name looked good!

The McFadden part required a bit more effort, but by working diligently Brian finally managed a good facsimile.

The true test surfaced as he put the two names together and created the entire signature with one long stroke of blended letters. The fourth practice attempt resulted in an almost perfect endeavor and Brian grinned gleefully. How brilliant was he? He had done it! He had slain the Adam signature dragon!

Brian pocketed the check in the front of the slacks he planned to wear the next day to school. Then he ripped out the sketch paper and tore it into small bits before snapping off the bedside light and making a final visit to the bathroom. He flushed the sketch pad evidence down the toilet and returned to bed.

Unfortunately, he could not fall asleep for several hours though he pretended to have journeyed snugly into dreamland when Adam later checked.

For several hours his mind raced through scenarios centered upon his future deceit. Guilt flooded him with the decision to resort to dishonestly by using his brother's name but he rationalized, _"He's my brother. It's not really stealing if it involves siblings."_ Sill, though he repeated the assessment to himself several times, the niggling doubts jeopardized his inner peace.

Visions of his daddy flooded Brian's thoughts. Were his father present, his dad would reiterate that he must never sully his brother's name. In fact, his father would insist Brian interpret that _"He's my brother"_ rationale correctly and not bend it to suit his current wishes.

Brian flipped onto his stomach. The worst punishment his dad ever delivered to him followed his attempt to shift his blame in breaking the back window of the truck onto either Crane's or Adam's shoulders. Brian had dragged his baseball and bat into the truck's bed to practice his swing and on his second attempt he swung the bat with such force that he shattered the window. Well aware that his dad had told all the boys not to play in the bed of the truck he scrambled down to the ground and slipped out of sight.

What he failed to recognize at the time was that his mother had watched the accident unfold, and that both parents waited patiently for Brian to step up with the truth. He had the opportunity to come clean and refused to do so. Instead, when he realized his parents already fingered him as the culprit he scrambled to take down the innocent Crane and the innocent Adam with him. Even now he couldn't imagine why he decided to implicate them. He knew in his heart he was wrong.

Rarely did a spanking occur in the McFadden household- not because the children lacked discipline, the opposite was true- but because his parents reserved spankings for the most egregious behavior.

His parents considered dishonesty egregious.


	3. Reprieve

Reprieve

Later that day Brian could not squirm out from his father's grip, nor could he save his bottom from his dad's calloused hand. Between smacks his father reiterated both parents' expectation that Brian never use his brothers' names dishonestly for any reason.

Afterwards his father waited until Brian's sobs lessened to shudders before he slid him off of his lap and stood him before him. He spoke softly. "I think you know what your mother and I expect."

Brian nodded his agreement and his father stood. He pulled his second son to him and gently kissed the top of the dark hair. "Brian, one day you will grow into the man your mama and I have envisioned, and when you do, I want you to have pride in yourself, just as we have pride in you. But dishonesty and lying cut down a man's character, and turning on your own brothers weakens the family. One day your mama and I won't be around, but you boys will all have each other."

That had occurred seven years ago and Brian could still recreate all of his raw emotions from that day.

After the spanking he had genuinely apologized to Adam and Crane and managed to work through the embarrassment of the rest of the family knowing their dad had just blistered his butt.

They forgave him.

Seven years earlier Brian's parents had refused to allow him to disrespect his brothers, had in fact made sure he understood he should always respect those fraternal bonds.

Brian stared at the sliver of moon outside his bedroom window. Forging Adam's signature would fall right into his father's category of unacceptable behavior towards a brother.

He knew it.

No doubt about it.

He would shortchange his own integrity by going through with it.

What choice did he have, though? The principal had forced his hand.

The next morning Brian handed over his signed ISS documents to the principal's secretary with an appropriate blend of embarrassment and dread.

She peered at him from over her reading glasses before checking the documents. "I imagine your brother was none too pleased," she pronounced.

Brian ducked his head in an effort to appear contrite.

"Such a nice looking young man you are," the Secretary observed. "Now if we can just get your behavior to improve after these two weeks in In School Suspension."

"Yes," he agreed humbly. "I think I've learned my lesson and I know I deserve this punishment."

The ISS trailer's location strategically kept those students far enough away from the main school building to isolate them. At the secretary's instructions Brian gathered all of his texts and materials from his locker before hiking in the direction of the trailer. En route he ran into his accomplices in crime.

None offered a cheery greeting. The thought of ten days of structured isolation weighed heavily upon them. The group compared notes describing the anger their parents expressed at the ISS notification, along with the unpleasant and unwelcome consequences which followed.

Finally Derek realized that Brian had remained silent and he held out a hand and swiveled to regard Brian suspiciously. "Halt, peers! It has dawned on me that Mr. McFadden here has not contributed to the list of repercussions we created." Derek held out a hand and began ticking points off his fingers. "We have- let's see- 5 parental responses of grounding our butts, one butt beating…."

"Two," Sophie corrected, "and make that a paddling."

"Two reactionary corporal punishments," Derek resumed, "and five lectures targeting combinations of dishonesty, integrity, flunking out of school, and winding up as winos in gutters at our present rate. Sound about right?"

The others called out affirmations except for Brian, who stared at the ISS trailer in the distance.

"Except," Karly reasoned, inspecting Brian's demeanor, "one of us has failed to participate, and by his silence we can only extrapolate he has somehow sneaked off scot free at home."

Bransen's eyes widened. "No! Brian, man, I can't believe Adam gave you a slap on the wrist!"

"Hold on," Brian directed holding out a hand. "No one outright asked, now did they?" He glanced at the group but didn't wait for a response. "Truth is a secret though. Everybody swear?"

Five heads nodded in unison.

"So I didn't tell him," Brian admitted. "I knew he'd have a conniption fit so I just decided to fail to mention the whole suspension."

"I don't understand. The papers…." Ila began.

Brian finished, "Yours truly signed the papers." At their horrified expressions he added, "with Adam's name, of course."

Several moments of silence fell as the sophomores absorbed the admission.

Brian pointed towards the trailer. "Come on. We need to be hurrying and our new school room awaits us."

"What happens when you get caught?" Derek questioned.

Sophie answered, "Adam will find out eventually. You will have repercussions, Brian, bad ones I'll bet."

Brian pressed a finger to his lips. "Nope, this will work because I managed to do a great job with the signature. Just trust me and keep quiet."

They did.

Days passed.

Friday evening Brian found himself restless and worried. Despite the teen's obvious victory at escaping consequences at home his relief simply could not assuage the guilt he felt at forging his brother's name.

Their sibling bond should remain sacred.

Should have remained sacred.

Should have always remained sacred.

Thanks to him it lay tattered, though Adam certainly didn't sense anything tragic amiss.

Not only had Brian stolen Adam's name with his act, but he had compromised his own moral foundation.

He had not been reared that way.

Guilt consumed him.

In the afternoon Brian pitched in and helped the younger boys after completing his own homework and chores, even though he had not been asked to do so. He worked patiently with both Evan and Ford on their science and social studies worksheets, played a chasing game with Guthrie, listened and offered encouragement as Crane recited a stanza for Language Arts, and taught Daniel his nine multiplication tables.

All of those tasks he performed accompanied by both a smile and a cooperative attitude.

Pleasantly surprised, Adam beamed approvingly. Brian tended to grow impatient with the boys after a half hour or so and the change was nice.

Brian felt even more of a fraud.

After supper Brian volunteered to clean the kitchen alone, which allowed the others to slip into the living room to enjoy a television show before baths and bedtime began.

As he worked Brian dissected the misery of ISS. He already dreaded the remaining days! He hated not speaking to a soul and having no social interaction for hours. ISS students sat between dividers so the only time he even physically saw his friends occurred during lunch when they trekked to and from the cafeteria.

However, when he did manage to engage in eye contact with his partners in crime they regarded him differently, and not in a positive light. Brian tried to put a finger on the word to describe their attitude but couldn't think of one which would act as a catch all for their expressions. The five regarded him with a mixture of disappointment and annoyance.

Deep down he commiserated. His five friends had suffered with two punishments but once he concluded his ISS sentence his own punishment ended. However, in all fairness could he help it if they suffered disciplinary actions at home when he did not?

Really, should he have to feel guilty because of their home situations?

Had they not capitulated once they had the ISS documentation, perhaps they could have engineered a loophole as he had.

Should he be faulted for creative thinking?

But as hours passed and days ended guilt still managed to permeate that self-justification of his own lucky break.

The entire skipping school ruse involved uniting five of his closest friends and him.

Six of them- not five-had mutually planned their escape, carried it to fruition, and had gotten busted together.

But there the story changed because one in their clique went all Lone Ranger.

Five suffered the consequences of their mishap together.

One did not.

Brian massaged his temples and tried to defend his own actions to himself. Anyone else would envy his smooth and clever forgery reaction. Why should he have suffered when he had been gifted with a sharp mind to think up a different approach?

The lack of creativity from his friends reflected on them. They certainly didn't need to turn his own stroke of genius into a crisis. They could have forged papers if they had thought about it, and surely they could have figured out the ramifications of handing over those papers to their parents ahead of time. Why be jealous of his ability to think outside the box?

Defending himself to himself had begun to consume much of his time and thoughts.

Shadows of movement in the living room alerted him that he had lost himself in reflection again and he glanced at the clock. Itty Bitties had already had their baths and been put to bed and he had missed it because of his soul searching preoccupation. Now Crane headed up the stairs, Adam following behind with an arm slung over Crane's shoulder.

Brian finished drying the dishes and carefully transferred them to cabinets, then cut off the light. He slid onto the sofa in the living room and stared at the darkened television.

He could watch a show or two if he wanted.

After all, he wasn't grounded.

Brian left off the television.

Adam jogged down the stairs just as Brian decided to go up to shower.

Adam grinned at his younger brother. "Stay here a few minutes with me 'cause I want to thank you for all your help this afternoon." Adam sank into the recliner and sighed. "Easy bedtime tonight. Everyone must have worked hard at school because they fell asleep quickly."

Brian looked up sharply.

"What about you?" Adam continued. "Lots of excitement today?" He leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs as he studied his brother's expression.

Brian licked his lips. "Uhm no, kinda quiet."

"Seems like the kids would be getting restless about now. It hasn't been that long since I was a sophomore and I remember how excited I was when spring break neared."

Brian nodded but didn't respond.

"Good times, good times." Adam slid back in his seat. "Just a couple of weeks from now and you are going to be Sacramento bound. I've been putting money aside the past few weeks to make sure you get to buy some souvenirs and don't have to worry about grabbing a meal out or paying for an exhibit."

Brian's stomach clenched. He whispered, "Thank you."

"You okay?" Adam looked concerned. "Lean up."

"I don't have a fever," Brian snapped. "You don't need to feel my forehead."

Adam's eyes narrowed.

"Sorry, that came out rudely, Adam." He smiled apologetically. "You know what? I think I'm going to grab an early bedtime. I feel exhausted." He stood and stretched convincingly.

"Certainly. I plan on one myself, but sit back down just a minute."

Brian managed a grin and sat again, choosing to perch on the edge of the cushion.

"Listen, though. I've been doing a bit of thinking about you lately."

"Well, that doesn't sound too positive." Brian closed his eyes.

Adam laughed. "Quit being so suspicious. No, I wondered if you wanted to invite some of your friends over to hang out this weekend."

"Do what?" Brian barely disguised the panic is his voice.

"You rarely get to just enjoy yourself with your friends and I thought you could invite them for an evening. It has been quite a while since you had someone over."

Brian licked his lips. "No, I don't think so."

"Why? Wouldn't they enjoy it?"

"I guess so."

"Well, just invite them and see if they like the idea."

Brian's jaw clenched. "No, I can't do that."

Puzzled with the reply, Adam raised his eyebrows.

"They can't come," Brian clarified. "Can't."

"Really?" Adam contradicted. "Now how would you know they can't come before you even issue invitations?"

Brian rubbed his hands together and his thoughts whirled. Where was this conversation leading?

"Brian?"

"They're grounded," Brian admitted at last. "They won't have permission to go anywhere."

Adam turned a bit so that his knees nearly touched his brother's. He studied Brian thoughtfully.

Brian squirmed. What did Adam want from him? He glanced up and met Adam's gaze but his brother's expression proved unreadable.

Brian waited.

Beside him Adam remained silent, but watchful.

Brian shifted focus to the stairs, pathway to his escape. Why not just stand and announce he needed to bathe? He inhaled deeply to calm himself. Adam's physical proximity meant he would have to struggle to get his balance as he stood. No way could he move without jarring his brother.

His brother.

Brian licked his lips nervously and exhaled. "Well, I…" His gaze shifted above the steps to the pictures of all seven boys lining the stairs, the photos his mother had prized above all others because they highlighted McFadden brotherhood. A jolt of heartache ripped through him. What would she think of him now if she knew he had forged Adam's name? What would his daddy think of his dishonesty?

Brian turned a panicked expression Adam's way. "Adam, I need to tell you something."


	4. Paying the Proverbial Piper

Paying the Proverbial Piper

Brian licked his lips. "Right now. I really need to tell you something right now, please.

And so he did.

Brian began at the beginning of the first skipped school day and he recounted every single detail, speaking rapidly as he provided an honest account of everything he had tried so hard to keep secret from his brother.

Once the shock registered the nature of Brian's divulgence, Adam steeled himself to maintain control of his temper throughout the confession. Still, it was with difficulty that he kept his expression neutral when Brian described painstakingly practicing his own signature and all of the planning steps involved with the deception.

In fact, despite his rising anger and consternation Adam did not interrupt, interject, question, or comment during Brian's entire confession.

Adam remained transfixed.

Brian finally sputtered to a stop. Blurting out the story may have proved cathartic, but it left him so emotionally exhausted that he felt the oxygen had been sucked from his body. With the end of the narrative hot tears threatened. He appealed to his brother in a shaky voice. "Adam, please say something to me."

Adam slid back to sit ramrod straight against the recliner's back cushion. He regarded his younger brother with a troubled expression. "Well, Brian, what would you like me to say to you?"

He spoke so softly that Brian had to lean forward to hear him.

Brian rubbed at his eyes and tried to rein in and control his emotions. Crying certainly wouldn't help his situation now. "Say," he pleaded, "say that you forgive me, and say that you don't hate me, and say that I'm still your brother no matter how badly I've botched everything." Despite his best intentions a slow trickle of tears began.

Across from him Adam resisted the urge to grab Brian to him and assure him that all would be well, that he had erred, but the mistake was fixable. That would prove completely counter- productive to his brother learning any lesson from the subterfuge.

Besides, Adam's anger at his brother's blatant carelessness, irresponsibility, dishonesty, and disrespect towards him had merit. He deserved to be furious.

He needed time. The struggle between Adam the brother and Adam the parent often caused him to second guess his judgment. He needed time without Brian to process all of the scheming and details and he needed time to forgive his brother.

Adam tightened his jaw and spoke firmly. "All right, Brian, I will say something. I want you to go straight upstairs, take your shower, and head straight to bed."

Brian shrugged in surprise. "What about…."

Adam voiced a warning. "I believe I just gave you instructions, Brian." Adam watched him expectantly. "I have no intention of repeating myself."

Brian wiped his eyes.

Adam rose and deliberately stepped back to free some physical space, his face unreadable. He waited until Brian also stood before clarifying, "Until I address this, consider yourself restricted to your room. And yes, I mean restricted and not grounded. Your room, Brian. Am I clear?"

Brian nodded. "Clear, and Adam….."

"Bath, bed, room restriction," Adam repeated firmly.

Resigned, Brian shoved his hands in his pockets and left.

Adam watched Brian's climb up the stairs and continued to stare after him until Brian disappeared. He heard the door shut to the bathroom.

Adam gathered his thoughts and straightened the living room before trudging upstairs to bed himself.

That night Brian's sleep-or what he experienced of it-centered around a succession of disturbing dreams. He awoke physically and emotionally exhausted and groaned when he recalled the conclusion of the night before. His stomach knotted just recalling the expression on Adam's face, a look of shocked betrayal.

Once he dressed Brian dealt with his outdoor chores. By the time he returned to the warmth of the indoors breakfast awaited him and he picked at it, uncharacteristically not hungry. He ate, cleaned his dishes and those in the sink, and started up the stairs.

"Where you going?" Evan demanded, pressing his face between two of the bannister bars.

Brian pointed. "Upstairs."

Evan giggled. "It's Saturday, Silly!"

"I know that," Brian spoke softly. "But I need to hang out in my room." He leaned down and tweaked Evan's nose.

Confusion clouded Evan's face. "But it's Saturday and we're going to the store."

"I can't go with you," Brian admitted.

"Oh," Evan sympathized. "Did you do something terrible bad?"

Brian rubbed Evan's cheek. "Afraid so."

"Did you get a spanking?"

"No," Brian explained, "but I am restricted to my room. Not grounded, but on restriction."

Evan's compassionate nature led him to reassure his brother. "That happened to me before but not this week. But I had to stay in restriction in my room."

"I remember."

"What's the difference with restriction and being grounded?" Evan wrinkled his nose.

"Grounded means you don't get to do anything away from home, and at home you have to go to bed early and not watch tv or have phone calls. But you can still hang out in the house and yard. Restriction means you don't move from that spot, from your bedroom, unless directly summoned, like for breakfast."

"What if you have to go to the bathroom?"

Brian laughed. "You can always go to the bathroom, Silly!"

Evan turned to check Adam's whereabouts and whispered conspiratorially. "You'd better go, 'cause if you disobey 'bout the restriction you'll get another worse punishment on top of that one."

Brian winked at the six year old. "You are one cute little brother! I am so glad you have my back."

Evan watched him climb the stairs.

Brian returned to his room.

Later, he also conscientiously and physically placed himself back in room restriction once he finished lunch and completed afternoon chores. Brian thought it wiser if Adam did not have to remind him. His brother must have graduated to an over-the-top mad and Brian didn't want to add more ammunition.

Still, the waiting- or the dreading- proved excruciating.

Then finally, it finished.

Adam deliberately delayed the confrontation until after supper. Once the kids raced into the living room to watch a television special he motioned Brian to take a seat again at the table. Brian tried to control his rising panic by sliding as close to the table as he could. He drummed his fingertips against his thighs.

Adam sat directly across from him and Brian immediately felt the prickling of tears begin. This whole fiasco had blown his entire life out of control.

"Look at me, Brian," Adam ordered.

Brian did, tilting his head a bit. Worried and guilty blue eyes met his brother's disappointed brown ones. "Adam, I…."

Adam's jaw clenched. "I absolutely do not recall asking you to speak."

Brian nodded and Adam's expression softened a bit in response. "I don't know where to start, Brian, because you racked up such a long list of offenses and this whole situation boggles my mind. You managed to lie, skip school, and forge my name on a document in one incredible forty eight hour grand excursion."

Brian bit the corner of his lip. Adam had pretty much condensed everything into a couple of sentences.

"Did you think ahead of time about your little stunt hurting you academically?"

Brian shook his head back and forth.

"Did you make sure someone knew where all of you had headed in case an emergency occurred?"

Brian looked down at the table top.

Adam demanded his attention. "Answer me," he directed sharply.

"Uhm, no," Brian responded quietly.

"Luckily your friends and you managed to stay safe," Adam commented. "I'm really happy and relieved about that."

Brian's head jerked up to see if Adam meant the remark sarcastically. It didn't appear he did.

"Then you took it upon yourself to forge my name, which is not only dishonest, but downright illegal. People go to jail for forgery, Brian. Are you aware of that?" Adam's voice shook a bit.

Brian nodded miserably, tears stinging the back of his eyes.

"I want you to do something for me," Adam directed. "I want you to put yourself in my position for a few seconds. If all this had unfolded around you and you were the one in charge, how would you react?"

"Angry," Brian responded instantly. "I'd be really, really angry. And disappointed. And hurt. And I'd also be afraid." He looked up self-consciously. "Is that what you meant?"

Adam frowned. "Yes, unfortunately, that's just what I meant."

Brian reached across the table and placed a hand on his brother's arm. "May I speak, Adam?"

"Go for it." Adam massaged his temples.

"Adam, what I did was beyond wrong and you don't have to remind me about the forging being a criminal thing. I've been thinking how stupid that was all weekend while I was on room restriction. Maybe you won't believe me, but I think I've grown up some and I know I screwed up- big time. You can save yourself the lecture, Adam, 'cause believe me, I regret every bit of it. None of my actions were mature ones and I can not fix them even when I want to make things right."

Adam prodded, "Ok, keep going."

"And I don't know how to make it up to you. I let you down, Adam, big time. You're gonna punish me tonight and as much as I don't want that to happen, Adam, I admit that I deserve it." He gave his brother a shy smile. "That's all of what I needed to tell you."

Adam regarded his brother. "Tell me something. Did you just deliberately set out to disobey me?"

Brian defended, "No, that's not how it was at all."

"Really? Then how was it? Help me understand your thought process."

Brian opened his mouth to speak and then closed it. No defense of his line of thinking even existed. He crossed his arms on the tabletop and remained quiet.

Adam watched the boy's internal struggle play for several seconds before he ordered firmly. "Look at me, Brian."

Brian did.

"Ok, this is the deal. Number one, until you wake up Monday morning you are restricted to your room. Next, for the two weeks of ISS you earned at school I'm compensating by grounding you for the next two weeks."

Brian fell back against his chair, obviously upset.

Adam ignored the reaction. "So grounded means that aside from school, you don't leave this property for the next two weeks. No friends, no phone calls, no television, and bedtime when Crane goes to bed."

Despite already imagining how Adam would punish him, the loss of freedom really upset the teen. He bit the side of his lip in an effort to keep tears at bay.

There was no point crying now.

"Two weeks," Adam repeated. "Last, to address forging my name on papers addressed to me, your spring break trip to Sacramento no longer exists…"

"Adam, please!" Brian interrupted. "Please don't take that!"

"Don't interrupt again," Adam responded, his voice rising a bit. "That trip no longer exists for you and your spring break will be spent right here on the ranch, grounded, with plenty of additional chores to keep you busy. Now that week will add to the other two, which means you are grounded three weeks." Adam narrowed his eyes. "Are you with me?"

Tears trickled then. "Couldn't you just spank me?"

"I could, but I am not. You would have gotten over how horrible the spanking felt after a day or two and it wouldn't take up too many of your thoughts. I want reminders that you are immersed in punishment all day long to steer your every thought for the next twenty one days."

Brian grudgingly admitted to himself Adam's logic made sense.

Adam continued, "That covers all the issues you chose to abuse except one. Monday morning I am driving you to school. You and I are going to sit down with the principal so that you can confess the forgery to him."

Brian wiped at his eyes. The tears began a steady flow with the added news. Could it get any worse?

"Whatever punishment the principal chooses will be heaped right on top of the punishments from home. Since you have proven yourself untrustworthy and unreliable and shown me I can not trust you, at that time I will notify the principal that for the rest of your high school days, I want the school to call me first when paper work is sent home under your care. You have destroyed my trust in you." Adam paused and regarded Brian's devastated expression. "Do you understand? Tell me now if any of these consequences confuse you."

Brian wiped at his eyes and Adam stood up and grabbed a tissue. He handed it to his brother. "Do you understand?"

"No, I understand all of it. It's just I…. Adam, I really am so sorry and I want to tell you that you can trust me again."

Adam searched his brother's face. "I'm going to need more than words, Brian. Much more."

"I know you will. I believe that."

"Look, I still love you and I know you didn't consider any of the consequences ahead of time. You just wanted to enjoy yourself in the moment. But I would be remiss- no, not remiss- I would be downright negligent if I didn't treat this as a pretty egregious event. You are my brother, Brian. I will never walk away from that bond, or the duties which I honor with that bond. So you really left me no choice except to come down hard on you." Adam leaned over and tapped his brother under the chin. "Now I'm finished."

Brian shoved his chair back and crossed to Adam. His big brother embraced him, and held him until Brian finished crying. Adam kissed the top of his head and rubbed his back and murmured soothingly.

Brian's muffled voice assured him, "I'm so sorry for everything, for all of what I did, but mostly I'm sorry because I betrayed the big brother I love."

Adam held him close. "I know that, Brian, so I want to remind you our parents saw our future pretty clearly. Daddy and Mama drove all of the family's focus, and dreams, and goals with their "he's my brother" philosophy because those two realized that our sibling bonds would outlive theirs and the bonds did. And our bonds will. And I will always love you, too, Brother."


End file.
